It sucked

haha no shit

Didn't it rake in the green at the box office?

Beats me, but Uma killed one person in the entire fucking movie and you can guess who it is.

GAY

No shit.

That is quite homo.

She didnt cut anyones arms off or anything. She didnt even have a real sword fight.

Bill was a big pussy.

What a fag.

Did you ask for your money back?

I should have

Maybe I should have gotten drunk before I saw it then it would have been better

Maybe you should have just watched Snoop in Starsky and Hutch.

Bill was like 'you broke my heart waah waah'

What a douche. Sounds like they should have asked you to play that role.

That is some gay ass shit.

They're trying to hold a brother down.

No more calling up your boys on the celly after you catch a phat TD pass.

I know.

They should call the the T.O clause

I think they should make a rule, next time he does a dumbass dance, 15 yard penalty for the team who doesn´t shoot him in the face.

Just because he is a douchebag

What? You're jealous of his style.

Style? What style?

He is just straight up douche.

I just think you are jealous of my style.

And my fantasy football skills

Since you obviously have no game I have an idea for you next time you see a bitch in a bar.

whats that

You should walk right up to her and bitch slap her.

I'm skeptical. How does this get you the tang?

That way she will never say, "Snake you never treat me like you used to."

This website is full of great advice.

Shit, I should have found this in school.

This one especially: http://www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com/issues/01-04/01-04-art-of-the-86.htm

Hahahaha, I just clicked on that before you put it up.

I figured that was all you getting 86'd

This one is hilarious: http://www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com/issues/01-04/01-04-photo-secrets-01.htm

I should print it out and create a class about it to give to my students.

This could be your new job as Snake.

Except you are too big a pussy.

If he wanted the nickname that badly he should have just started drinking and acting like an asshole like me.

National goof-off day, what the fuck.

Dont fucking tell me what to do.

Every day for you is a goof-off day because you got no fucking job.

I worked today to spite the man.

Shit. Don´t let him hold you down.

I probably will play video games today though. It is the best goof-off activity to do.

Us mexicans don't celebrate that shit.

You have red hair homo, you ain't a mexican

I just drank a couple Guinnness

A couple?? You pussy. What happened? Your vag get tired?

I watched a DVD of Michael Moores show the Awful Truth. He sent a guy dressed as Hitler to a bunch of banks in Switzerland to get his Nazi gold.

No shit.

That would be funny. What would be better is if he sent Hitler to the Gaza Strip.

Who would shoot him first, arabs or jews?

We could take bets and see who?

I got money on the Jesus killers.

He was saying how rappers today "they all soft"

Then Carson Daily, whether he did this on purpose or not, asks him about his new movie Torque

And Cube was like "yeah my new movie Torque is off the hook" and I was like aaaaaaahhahaha yeah right haha

Did you see his movie?

The previews looked like they blew nuts so I never even considered it.

Fuck NO, that movie looked about as fucking queer as they come.

What the fuck you doing watching Carson Daily anyway?

I was drunk

Oh. That must be the only way you could stomach it.

They need an offensive line now. Or just learn to get rid of the ball quickly.

And somebody to run the ball.

Harrington will get hammered

They are on the brink of a good season. Maybe they should have got TO. He would be hauling ass to Baltimore then instead of complaining that he forgot to hand in his free agency homework.

No shit. But Detroit is better off without him because he is a fag.

(Post) Tai is not the answer. The Lions need to can Matt Millen--the guy's a joke.

You better trade for your man Todd in NHL 2004, hes a bad ass.

I know.

Anytime I need to break someones neck I can send him out to do it.

That sucker punch he threw looked like those times I punched your sister.

They need to incorparate vengeance beatings in NHL 2005.

IF there is an NHL 2005 with the strike.

But that would be tite though

You pussy

That's all you drank?

Sounds like you are talking out of your vagina again.

You fuck, I had to wake up five hours later.

Stop crying you little bitch.

And what did you do to damage your liver last night penis breath.

I drink twice that and wake up three hours later to teach class.

I ate mexican food.

Did you at least get any hoes?

I stayed in and played NHL with dave

Check that out and tell me if it kicks ass or it sucks dicks.

It looks fucking tite.

It didn't have a half alien human in it did it?

Beats me.

I think its name was Nate.

Maybe I should get the download.

Its a movie that comes out in August you homo.

The wallpaper douche.

Fucking tite!!

Fuck, you going to replace your wallpaper of Eminem with his shirt off?

No, of me kicking your ass, but I got that saved so I can put it up on the website.

Anyone who leaves the club early is a pussy.

Obviosly you need some more Masengil to help you in tough situations.

I only left so I could go home and drink more without being bothered.

But without bitches.

Well, just you.

The guy I went with went off with his ex, and you can't roll up on a pack of hos when you're flying solo.

Only if you have a pair like mine.

I think I just put down about and bounced.

I had only and just checked out the scenery.

So how was it?

Did you blow your o-ring?

(Post) Be sure to avoid the rectal backwash from the toilet!

I need to think of a name for my fantasy baseball team that has the right amount of humor and can be offensive if taken in another light. So if anyone has any ideas I would be glad to hear them.

name them the Black Inches

What the fuck is that?

Isnt that your favorite magazine?

That's Hustler fool.

Name them the New England Gaytriots

Every once in a while I find something on the internet that is genius. Here is a link to one such thing: http://www.recordlabelrecords.org/gvb2/

This is the web page for an open source game made by a raving lunatic. Go there and read every word, especially the character class descriptions before reading the rest this post.

The manual for this game is hands down one of the funniest things I've ever read. It begins with just describing a game that is ridiculous, and ends up at FULL ON CRAZY.

The randomness, the subtle anti-american islamic fundamentalism, the idea that the author actually programmed a game, the web page is entirely made up of images and no text

My favorite character class: The entire starting lineup of the 1976 New York Giants

I just downloaded it, Im afraid it won't live up to the hype but I'm going to play

(Post) So, how's the game?

Oh shit.

Another game I will kick your ass at.

This game better have some Hall and Oates in it.

Oh shit, I forgot you only like the music.

I bet it will have 50 cent.

Where the fuck is San Andreas.

And why would I want to steal a car there.

Its the fault line in California fool

The San Andreas Fault dumbass?

According to yahoo maps San Andreas CA is a small town outside Yosemite National Park.

There should be a lot of lowriders out there to steal from all the Crips.

The box has Old English lettering on it http://www.rockstargames.com/sanandreas/

I bet they will make the main character a Mexican because people complained the last one was about a damn dago killing as many minorities as possible.

No shit?

That is gay.

Your right, I bet it will be too.

You gonna preorder your copy?

I dont have a PS2 fool.

Hahahahahahaha, yeah I know.

I just like to remind you of that fact.

They should totally fuck up the political correctness and make the powerups tacos and burritos.

Hahahahahah, yeah.

And one mission should be to see how many people can fit in the back of a pickup truck to sneak accross the border.

And when you get caught: DEPORTED

Hell yeah

You get thrown in a jail in Tijuana and ass raped by a bunch of gansters.

I take back what I said before, this game is sounding awesome.

Oh yeah. It better be like Vice City.

So you finally put your douche away and left the house?

Yeah I think I drank about a and a half. And then some

Nice.

How fucked up were you?

Well, the waitress at Dennys was looking good, so I was pretty hammered.

Hahahahahaha! Holy shit, you must've been trashed.

Were there any hoes thrown into the mix?

No you weren't there.

Shit.

Where did you go?

Madison oyster bar right downtown. Its a nice break from the white trash places I like.

That is true. But you fit in so well at those places........

Shit. What did you do last night homo.

Nada.

I was spent from going out and getting wasted on the weekend like normal people.

I´m not an alcoholic who gets drunk in the middle of the week.

How can someone be such a little bitch and cry about pussy shit?

They even offered him beer between holes.....and he refused!!!

I think he needs a vagina replacement surgery

Refused..... are you sure it was beer?

That's what it said.

Who wouldn't take free beer?

Hes a disgrace to the sport of golfing.

Besides, for golf to be fun, you need to drink beer. Just like bowling.

He should try golfing with you busting ass on his backswing and laughing for a full 5 minutes when the shot goes into the woods.

Hell yeah. I should be a professional heckler.

I went kareoking this weekend fool

No, I was a pussy

You are always a pussy.

What did you bust out

I tore shit up with Holidae Inn and P.I.M.P

I had bitches on my nuts like clothes

So what did you and your vagina do this weekend?

Did you spend some quality time together?

Yeah. I saw one of the greatest movies ever.

Oh yeah, what?

They made a movie out of the comic The Punisher. Its actually one of the worst movies ever made, but I saw it on the spanish channel so it was awesome.

Hahahahah, no shit, I went to the movies on sunday and they had a preview for The Punisher.

Yeah they are making a new one, but this one was made in 1989 starring Dolph Lundgren and Louis Gossett Jr..

No shit, was it complete dirt?

Yeah, and all the bad guys were asians with moushtaches for some reason.

That sounds tite, I saw School of Rock and the movie where Halle Berry goes crazy

The best scene: A karate guy punches the Punisher in the face, you think to start a hand to hand fight scene, but instead the Punisher just pulls out a gun and shoots him in the face.

I was hoping she would get naked so I could see some T&A but she didn't

Does Dolph have any cheezy lines? He always has some cheesedick lines in his movies because he is a shitty actor

Thats what made it so good. Every line was so cliched and overused, even though my spanish was rusty I knew what he was saying.

This new punisher movie better fucking have Louis Gossett Jr. in it. He didn't even have to make contact with a punch and the guy would be out cold.

He had a moustache too.

A cheesy porn moustache?

Yeah but he has one in all his movies.

True

Is that all you did this weekend pussy?

Yeah I told you fool I didn't do shit.

Theres your boy Jamal the crackhead.

shit I can´t believe that

I wish I was fucking stupid enough to play professional football AND not have enough money that I had to sell drugs

People are fucking idiots

I didn't know the toxic rock was a performance enhancer

Me either, maybe we should get some

I think he should be retroactively disqualified from fantasy football, hence making me last years champion.

Hahahahaha nice try douche your team sucked either way

Last year I had Todd Heap, who caught like a 60 yard pass, then my opponent who had Jamal walked into the endzone from the 1 for the points. Had I won that game I would have had his seed in the tourny and won the whole thing.

Bullshit

Had you not sucked so bad, you would have won

Some would say you could strategically replace a letter in Jamal's last name with a J for a politically incorrect pun. Not me though.

Of course not that would be straight Old Testament

I was going to go see the Passion of the Christ tonight but some asshole spoiled the ending for me.

No shit, you just figured that out

This is what happens when you start making your singers look like your professional wrestlers. Check out these lyrics.

-- http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/tobykeith/thetalibansong.html

And look at him He looks like more of a queer than Marty Stuart

But the lyrics are fucking funny

At least Marty dresses full on gay, and you know he does it because it nets him tons of pussy. But Toby Keith looks like a closet fag trying to look attractive to men, but not overly so.

True